It keeps on calling

I almost thought the day was a success but instead,I couldn't resist I bought a pack of cigarettes again!!So far I have just looked at it but It is so effin hard,I would like to throw it away but it is too expensive.
I mean if I manage not to smoke a cig then the day still is a success but I am angry at myslef for buying the pack,and it once again shows how strong I am hooked to this drug.

I might even call it success

Smoked 4 cigs today but only the extremely weak ones my mother smokes.
I also started to do some sort of audio-hypnosis,they claim to put messages in your subconcious mind through some relaxing sounds.I mean of course I have no clue whether it is just complete trash or not but I will try it and even it doesnt work the way it should,I have always believed in the placebo-effect.
And I really don't give a damn if I quit smoking by some weird brain conditioning or simply because I believe in something and therefore act different.#
Smokefree is smokefree.

See ya tomorrow

The Grey old man

Today it was time for a new haircut and by the time I entered the door of my favourite barber shop,I could hear a deep and disturbing sound which could a few minutes later be identified as the coughing of a fellow human beeing sitting on a chair and getting his hair cut by one gorgeous lady.
The guy was probably not older than 40 years old but you could see by the way he moved that he was either just a lazy guy that never worked out in his life or he was in very bad shape (well his zombie like coughs made it obvious that number too was his case).
Guess what the guy did right after he got his haircut?Right,he smoked a cigarrillo in front of the barber shop or should i say he tried to inhale the whole fucking thing in one second.
I mean how nuts is this?
I am sitting there hearing the guy coughing the shit out of his body and later on I have to witness him continuing with his slow suicide.....and the sickest part is I could hear the nicotine devil calling me out all the time while all of this took place.
Oh,right I almost forgott to mention that my addiction was stronger than my will and I did it again,I screwed up once again.
The war goes on tomorrow!!!!

Stress

In my opinion the deadliest combo on the planet is nicotine addiction and stress.
Imagine you are trying to quit this dumb shit and your ex-wife is calling you just to tell you about her new man who is the best lover she ever had or your boss is yelling at you for some stuff that was impossible to prevent,how can you not smoke a cigarette,I mean of course if you are a non smoker you can get trough anything without smoking but especially when you are trying to get rid of it i find it impossible to deal with mental stress because the whole process of quitting is so stressfull itself that everything else becomes a nightmare while your body and your mind is in that state (turkey)
It is almost as if i need to isolate myself from everything for about 21 weeks to become clean because usually the days i failed at quitting where the days somebody stressed me out the most....usually the annyoing ex girlfriend of mine who pretty much sucks like nobody does (and no not in the good way)

Hello back

Ok,it has been a while since the last time I wrote something about my issues with this devilish drug.I have not been able to get rid of my habit so far.
There have been numerous attempts to quit it during this year but every time i failed.
I will never give up my fight but i have to admitt it is really depressing.
What pisses me off the most is that I am hurting my own body with it.
I have smoked about 8 cigarettes today which is compared to my daily average actually something to be very proud of for me.

Thanks to all the people reading and good luck (well not luck but good spirit) to all the girls and guys that fight the same fight as me!!

God , I hate it

Ok so this is what happened after I managed to quit smoking for 2 months , I decided to smoke a single cigarette when i was at a party a few weeks ago , guess what happened?Ýep , took a few days i was just as much of a smoker as i have been for the last few years.
Not only have I gained about 6 kilograms when i did not smoke , I also have the same problems with smoking again.
I hate it so much , The worst thing about it is the feeling you get when you can actualy feel that it harms your body but you cannot quit.
It is just something that needs to disappear out of my life , I am so young and I allready feel old because of smoking.

tomorrow will be the day I quit it forever , remembering the symptoms i had when i went cold turkey the last time makes me sick , but it has to be done so bad , even if it wasn ' t unhealthy the money and the smelly clothes , there is simply no reason not to quit besides ,the addiction is too strong....I know to some of you guys it might sound like some heroinjunkie but to me smoking is a dangerous drug and I really really have to stop it and never start again.

Hello everybody

Hi , this is mysterious L (of course not my real name but the internet is a huge place and acertain level of privacy is something i need to feel save)
I have decided to dedicate this blog to one of my worst habbits : Smoking!!!!
This is something that has more negative impact on my life than anything else , and allthough i have tried to quit several times , I have never managed to stay"clean" for more than 2 months.
This Blog is meant to be a diary of my daily fight against my nicotine addiction and I want other smokers that want to quit to write me and tell their oppinions or experiences.
I truly believe that smoking is a dangerous addiction and the bad influence it has on our body , mind and environment is way too underestimated!!
So come and support me in my fight against nicotine.

all the best mysterious L.